Letters to the Editor Feb 2020

Posted

We are not believed about our own lives

Dear Editor:

Thank you for interviewing Leigh Ann Block and, presumably, believing her story. Unlike the lawyers, judges and social workers who cared more about giving the violent man who would murder her daughter “a chance to demonstrate good behavior.”

I could have lost either or both of my children to their abusive father many years ago. But they and I - were luckier than Mikayla and Leigh.

I had decent lawyers for my divorce, unlike Martha Eaves of SMRLS. But I knew that most people, and most professionals involved in divorce and custody cases, think women trying to protect our children from violent men in their lives are making up stories to get revenge. That’s the baseline wrong done to Leigh, Mikayla and so many other victims of abuse, most of which is perpetrated by men.

We are not believed about our own lives and our children’s lives, and the violent men in our lives. My children’s father was a - now retired - Presbterian minister. You think most people believed me about his violence, his refusal to recognize other people’s rights or boundaries, his resentment at “having to be a good boy”?

My children are grown, and caring, nonviolent, great people, We’ve survived. But part of me will feel safer when that man is dead.

Thank you, Leigh Ann, for your love and courage to keep going after being abused by that monster, suffering your little daughter’s murder, and having your warnings ignored by people who should have paid attention.

It’s a disease of “professionals,” of “experts,” to think they know better than the people who come to them for help. Doctors, lawyers, cops, judges, social workers, even some teachers and mental health workers have this disease. People die every day because of this disease of arrogance, distrust of women, racism.

Thank you again for writing this. I’m sure you’ll receive a lot of letters like mine.

Helen Hunter

St Paul

Impactful series in wake of triple murder by father

Dear Editor:

Just finished reading your two stories about domestic abuse in the most recent edition of the Monitor. Very impactful writing, especially with the tragedy today in south Minneapolis, demonstrating the worst outcome of an abusive relationship.

May I offer a correction of the name for one of the resources for those in an abusive relationship? You referred to the "Alexander House"; I believe you meant the Alexandra House in Blaine.

Sincerely,

Joel Carter

What about men who are abused by women?

Dear Editor:

I received the newspaper today, and read the article about Leigh Ann Block and her late daughter Mikayla. The story is at once heartbreaking and frustrating, and I thank you for writing it. I admire Ms. Block’s activism, and I wish she could find more peace of mind, though given what happened, that may not be possible.

I wanted to bring up one sentence from the article, that I’m kind of stuck on. It’s on page 2, column 3, 4th full paragraph: “Like many men, he didn’t really start showing his abusive side until…..”

I feel like doing a slight rewrite on the first phrase of that sentence. Maybe something like “Like many eventual abusers….” This phrase takes gender out of it (since women are abusers, too, though not nearly as often as men) and it also shrinks the pool from all males to just abusive people. As written, that sentence struck me as a little unfair to my gender.

But I’m nitpicking, and I’ll stop now. Thanks again for the article – it was an engrossing account of a very sad situation.

Have a Happy New Year,

Mark Brandt

Editor's note: While it is definitely true both males and females can be abusive, the majority of abusers are men, and the majority of violent abusers are men. Many do argue that while both genders employ power and control dynamics, it is significantly worse for women. This isn’t something everyone agrees on, though, and is currently a hot discussion topic with the recent renaming of the Minnesota Coalition for Battered Women to Violence Free Minnesota.

I hope that the graphic that accompanied the article you're referring to helped put things in perspective by showing the exact breakdown of murders by father/mother/etc. according to the Center for Judicial Excellence.

Impactful series in wake of triple murder by father

Dear Editor:

Just finished reading your two stories about domestic abuse in the most recent edition of the Messenger. Very impactful writing, especially with the tragedy today in south Minneapolis, demonstrating the worst outcome of an abusive relationship.

May I offer a correction of the name for one of the resources for those in an abusive relationship? You referred to the "Alexander House"; I believe you meant the Alexandra House in Blaine.

Sincerely,

Joel Carter

What happened to Parkway Motor totem pole?

Dear Editor:

There is a post on NextDoor that is asking what happened to the totem pole that was originally part of the Parkway Motor Hotel at Hiawatha Ave. and Nawadaha Blvd. It was removed from its original place during the Hiawatha Ave. reconstruction, then sat on its side by the old Bridgeman's/SomTaste building for awhile. Do you have any knowledge of where it went to? Neighbors are dying to know!

Thanks for any info you can share!

Wade Johnson

Hiawatha nieghborhood

 

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